The Things I’m Attracted To Now. (& Would You Agree This Is Sexy in 2024?)

A confident man without a cell phone in his hand, or anywhere near his body, makes me smile a tad too wide.

Show me your eyes. They tell your story more than your sentences. They don’t have to be looking at me, god no. I find it extremely attractive when you gaze up at people passing by around you and pass on a smile in their direction, or when you stop to observe the tall cottonwood trees bursting with 7:30pm golden hour glow, or when you just stare off into the space of your own soul.

Someone close to the pulse of the present moment, not sucked into their shiny screen, it feels like a rare sighting.

I’m giddy over men who can keep their phones out of sight for at least a few minutes- stuffed in a bag, left out in the car, at the house, or in their office.

It’s a rare sighting now, isn’t it?

Every single person in the Whole Foods cafe right now, besides a busy mom with three kids and one in a front pack is looking at their phone, finagling with the screen or nervously trying to balance it on their lap while they type on their computer.

Having strict boundaries around phone usage is sexy to me, sounds ridiculous, right?

But here we are.

What about their personality, their dreams, their smile, their hygiene, their appearance, their financial status, their ability to clean a toilet and wield a vacuum, you know The List?

Yep, that darn little list. I know it well.

But at the tippy top of The List, if I could rewrite mine, is an ability to be engaged with their life and surroundings, to be able to read the room so to speak, and to intuit people’s emotions and needs. I hardly believe this is possible for any of us, men especially, to cultivate these qualities with an excessive need to have our phones in our pockets at all times and in all places.

It’s so utterly unattractive guys, to reach for your phone with more attention and exhilaration than you reach for our hand, to smile and coo into your screen with an adoration that makes every woman envious and angry.

The ultimate strength is your ability to give piercing eye contact. It gives me butterflies just thinking about it. Whew. It’s damn hot.

To give robust eye contact to the world whirling around you, not only toward a gorgeous woman or a work email that just came through, speaks multitudes of your depth, compassion, and relational prowess.

While I’m on my old lady rant…

I can’t help but pause when I see a man read an actual book, flip crispy pages, and perhaps even highlight some text. Gah! Kindles are fine, but the fire in my heart is instantly kindled when you show me how you can carry a book close to your chest before you pull me into yours.

When I catch you with a pen and a spiral notebook sitting at the table in the cafe, sipping your coffee, I don’t care whether you jot down a grocery list, a don’t-forget-note to yourself, or write down the revelation you had over the weekend, you can bet I will wonder who is this unicorn of a man?

I want to know him.

My list needs to be updated.

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