My Current Relationship With Creativity

For the past few months, it feels like that creative part of me has been hanging by an ugly, shred of a thread.

It’s looked like:

  • Some blobs of cheap watercolor brushed onto a piece of my kids’ art paper while I prepared dinner.
  • Messy thoughts tucked away into the pages of an ignored journal.
  • Ideas etched onto a notecard, folded up and forgotten about.

I am desperate to find my creative spirit again. I look for her, trying to coax her out of hiding with kindness and encouragement. Still she hides, I can’t converse or connect with her.

But then, this morning, I knew what I had to do.

I invited her to come and sit with me.

Meet me at the coffee shop after my swim, I declare.

Just you and me against the backdrop of sounds of a barista steaming milk, clanging cups, and muffled chatter of friends.

Before I rush out the door with my 4 kids in tow, I make sure I’m prepared for our time together. I snatch up a book I’ve been rifling through over the last month, The Creative Act by Rick Rubin, and stuff it into my backpack along with my laptop.

I’m trying a new approach to our relationship today.

  • I’ve stopped searching for through my worn-out and rabid wolf ways and instead,
  • I’ve extended a simple invitation- surprise me… meet me? I’ll be there.
  • I have a sacred expectation.
  • I have an innocent, intimate excitement.
  • I will show up, I promise.

For my entire 30-minute swim, I think about our date. I can’t wait to finally reconnect with you. I shower quickly and bike down the sidewalk to the corner coffee shop.

Undeterred and intentional, I crack open my book, set my phone to Do Not Disturb, and allow the words from Rick Rubin to open my eyes and welcome me into a circle of connectedness and contagious energy. I hear your footsteps now.

You must be close.

My eyes glide around the airy, bright cafe and I sink into the sounds and sights swirling around me. A sense of adventure compels me to write and awakens me to the words dancing on my fingertips.

What comes next is what I’ll call The Great Spilling Out.

Were we ever apart? Or were you here all along, my Creative Spirit, waiting for me to give you the time and space to stretch, breathe, and spill out through every pore of my being?

Perhaps our search for you is always in vain. Creativity never leaves, we merely forget how to find you everyday with a little invitation, a bit of expectation, and a whispered promise to show up.

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