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Coaching

Confessions of a Recovering Hug Hater

My husband loves my hugs and kisses. I’d like to say he gets them often, but he doesn’t. Poor guy, I forget so often how big he smiles when I sneak up behind him and wrap my arms around his chest. He melts when I take a few extra seconds to spontaneously kiss him as I’m rushing out the door. He loses focus when I sneak up to his office with hot chocolate and little kiss on the side. {perks of a husband who works from home!}

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My husband is always ready, His arms are always open. I wish I could say I’m good at filling this part of his heart, but I’m not. I get busy and the kids take all my attention, I am distracted and worried, moody and untouchable.

All the while, my husband waits so patiently. Sometimes he even asks for a hug, and I refuse! I’d rather stay in my funk, or keep loading the dishwasher or preparing dinner. A hug can feel like an interruption to the flow of my life, I’d rather wait for the perfect time …when the kids are quiet, I feel good, and I am not doing anything.{when does that ever happen?!}  

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How is it that I forget that the best method to bring peace and perspective to my day is not getting a break or being alone, it’s being in his arms.

It may have something to do with me being a recovering hug hater.

I don’t know when it happened but somewhere along the way I started to despise hugs. I ran away during goodbyes because I knew what was coming.

Thankfully, I’ve changed. I can give and receive hugs without any awkwardness.

Here’s proof that I’ve come to actually enjoy hugs…I often imagine what it would be like to stay in my husband’s arms all day long.

To put it another way, his arms are my favorite place on earth. In his arms, I feel completely at rest. When I let myself sink into his embrace, all the other things of life fade away- to-do lists, screaming children, and my grown-up responsibilities. I want nothing more than to stay there, close enough to hear his heartbeat and smell his cologne. In his arms, I am wrapped up in the truth of my identity, purpose, and beauty.

My soul comes alive when I hug my husband, although I don’t always admit that to him or myself. Because if I admit the truth, that I long for his arms, then wouldn’t I have to hug him more often? And I don’t want to be seen as weak, needy, or lazy.

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I still struggle to hug not just my husband but also the most important Man of my life…

God.

God yearns to be with me. It’s really weird to think about!

God wants me-a part of His heart longs for me, for you.

He waits and watches for us to come to Him.

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But here’s where I end today.

I’m starting, at least a little, to let myself admit the truth- that I love being with my husband, particularly close enough to touch him and actually, I wouldn’t mind staying there all day long. My admittance of that need is changing me and also my relationship with God.

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For a girl who loves to run and be on the run all the time, slowing down, lingering, sitting, or stopping make me want to crawl out of my skin. It feels physically impossible sometimes for me to sit.

But as I crawl deeper into my heart, I see who I really am- I was made for hugs. Not just from my husband, but from God. I was created to rest with Him, be with Him, sit with Him, linger in His presence longer than what’s acceptable for me.

God’s embrace is not something we have to beg for or seek, He isn’t moody or busy like me, He is always waiting for us to come…

To come into complete rest. To sink into His embrace and let all the others things of life fade away. To sit close enough to hear His heartbeat and smell His cologne (I’m sure God smells good!). To let Him wrap us up in the truth of our identity, purpose, and beauty.

To come and… stay there forever.

Let yourself nestle up close to God today, even if you’ve got other plans…
And then confess… you could stay there forever because here in His embrace you are completely whole and completely yourself.